Abstain, daily release, and timing methods for PINK

Updated 10-8-22

Sorry for the convoluted title but those things really do fit together!!!

There are three different tactics that people use for swaying that tend to get lumped together in people’s minds. But they are NOT the same thing and you can do one of them, two of them, or all three. You can do timing with frequency, or timing and number of attempts, or all three. You can even just pick one of them and use it (but please, if you do just pick one, make it ONE ATTEMPT since that’s the only one that works!) NO right or wrong, it’s your sway your way.

1)Timing – This is the day(s) of the cycle you have intercourse on.

2)Frequency – This is the number of times your husband releases and when, in relation to your attempt.

3)Number of Attempts – This is the number of times you have intercourse in the fertile window.

Before we get started, let me just stress that of those three swaying tactics, only number of attempts (namely, one attempt in the fertile window for pink) seems to actually work in any reliable way. Timing has been completely debunked, while frequency hasn’t been completely debunked, but still has not gotten the type of results we’d expect to see if it was working – the same number of people have been getting girls with and without it. ONLY having one attempt in the fertile window has actually seemed to sway pink. So as we talk about combining these three tactics, keep in mind if you’re not getting pregnant in a timely fashion, you should err on the side of dropping the things that cut odds of conception and DO NOT WORK – timing and frequency – while keeping the thing that DOES work – one attempt for pink. I see far too many people keeping timing and frequency while adding attempts to boost odds of conception.

Note – People sometimes get confused because we use both abstain and daily/frequent release both used for pink sways, when they seem to be the opposite of one another. This is because they both lower sperm count. The best science we have at our disposal seems to indicate that low sperm numbers sways pink. Contrary to what you may have read, it’s not true that X’s live longer than Y’s do – they both live the same amount of time and die off at equal rates, but for some reason that we don’t really understand, lower sperm numbers seem to sway for a girl somehow (even though there are still roughly equal numbers of both X and Y being ejaculated). So either abstain or daily/frequent release (we often call this “FR”) can be a part of a pink sway since they both accomplish the task of lowering sperm count.

Abstaining for PINK – If you want to try abstain as a sway tactic your husband should abstain (and that means NO “helping himself”!!) for 7-10 days before your attempt. Some people abstain even longer, from CD 1 through their attempt (do not ever abstain longer than 14 days) For some guys, this may lower his sperm count TOO much, so if you’re abstaining you may want to go easier on other swaying techniques, like douching, jellies and spermicide, jump and dump, and long cutoffs. Even antihistamine to dry up CM may be too much if your husband has abstained for a long period of time. (you need CM on hand to ensure that some sperm are able to survive to make it to the egg)

You can use JUST abstaining as a sway technique. There is no law that says you have to douche or use Acijel or timing or any of it – and in fact, the more we’ve moved away from these old school tactics to focus on what actually worked for swaying (Low Everything Diet, exercise, one attempt, and Clomid or Femara if you can get them) the better our results got. Diet + abstain is still a sway and may be less stressful and not raise testosterone (or whatever control freakish personality traits are swaying, since this may have nothing to do with testosterone), so if you tend to be an obsessive-type, it may be something to really consider. But do be aware that abstain has not been super effective for us, so never rely on JUST abstain.

If your husband is over 35 or has fertility issues, you should not use the abstain technique because it will really lower his count by a lot, and there has been a slight increase in bad sperm and birth defects in babies from guys who had abstained for a long time. (please scroll to the end of this essay for more info about this issue) Since older men have a slightly higher risk of fathering children with health issues anyway, AND abstain has not been effective, it is not worth any level of risk for men over 35, even though the risks themselves are quite small. That having been said, PLEASE don’t panic if you accidentally have an abstain due to illness or work obligations, and there is no need to skip a month if this were to happen. There is a big difference between doing abstain deliberately as a sway tactic – incurring risk, even a small level of risk, for no benefit – versus just being in a situation where it happens and you need to try that month. The risks are small, but we just don’t want to incur them deliberately for a sway tactic that doesn’t actually work.

If something goes wrong (such as, a nocturnal emission aka wet dream) it is possible to have your husband start to release 2-3 times a day to lower sperm count more quickly and you can still salvage the month. However, switching from abstain to frequent release is unreliable so you might want to use some additional sway techniques to ensure that sperm count is low.

Frequent or DAILY release for PINK – Important update – for years, we called this tactic “frequent release” and then explained that this meant a man had to release at least one time a day to qualify. Over time, I have found many people who hear the word “frequent” decide that this tactic must mean “he needs to release just a couple extra times” or “anything more than we were doing before must be frequent”. But these things do not qualify as frequent release, they are not going to reliably lower sperm count, and doing one thing while calling it another thing has really frustrated the data on this particular technique. I have moved to calling it “daily release” but sometimes I still call it “frequent” or “FR” and so do other people. If you want to use this method, you MUST release in the pattern I outlined below or you have not done it right, whether you call it “frequent”, “daily”, “FR”, or “oh gosh not again didn’t we just do this yesterday?”

DH needs to ejaculate every day for 7-10 days, preferably from your period-your attempt, either through masturbation or DTD with a condom (in the past, some have even tried using a spermicidal condom – these have very little spermicide and so you can still get pregnant after using them, but some may be left behind and the chemicals may help your sway in some way). His testosterone will go up less if he masturbates instead of DTD, but then again most guys prefer DTD and there’s something to be said for spicing up boring swaying sex a little!!

Unlike with abstain, you can do the daily release longer than 10-14 days. That having been said, frequent release may be difficult for some guys to manage, and the longer it goes, the more difficult it is to keep it going. Sex every day sounds great but it gets old very quick. If your DH is older or has a lower sex drive, it might be too much for him. (Even couples with a high sex drive have struggled with daily release.) This is another advantage of having sex on occasion with a condom, it helps make daily intercourse less monotonous. As I mentioned above, some people have attempted daily release using a spermicide condom for a few days prior to attempt – the spermicide is a very small amount and will probably not keep you from getting pregnant, but the chemicals may sway pink slightly.

Conversely, if he is young or is just a supersperm producer, daily release can almost seem to encourage the swimmers for some guys!! If you try for daily release, you CANNOT skip even one day or the sperm have a chance to recover.

If something does go wrong and you end up missing a day, it is possible to have DH start releasing twice daily to lower sperm count more quickly, so you can still salvage the month. However this may be unreliable and so you may wish to use some other swaying techniques – even ones you hadn’t planned on – to ensure that the sperm count is lowered.

Frequent/Daily release has not gotten outstanding results for us so it should not be relied upon as a primary sway tactic. (really very disappointing!! for all the work it is, it hasn’t brought the results, so treat it as an appetizer, not the main course.)

Abstaining with a cutoff for PINK – This is just abstaining and then having one attempt 2-3 days prior to ovulation. It’s probably best not to go overboard with other swaying techniques because the abstaining will already be cutting odds of conception by a good bit. DO NOT add attempts with this method. Regardless of any other tactic, one attempt has gotten excellent results for us. Timing doesn’t sway, one attempt does.

Abstaining with O+12 for PINK – Exactly as described, this is abstaining and then having one attempt 12 hours after ovulation (an easy way to do this method is to BD once 48 hours after your first positive OPK – but expect to get a lot of BFN by doing that) O+12 is not recommended by atomic sagebrush, and is my absolutely least favorite sway tactic of all time. It doesn’t work, cuts odds of conception to virtually nil (unless you have done it totally wrong), and is so insanely control freakish that it simply HAS to sway blue due to that.

Frequent/Daily release with a cutoff for PINK – Frequent/Daily release with one attempt 2-3 days before ovulation. Note – you must release every day for 7-10 days before your ATTEMPT, not ovulation.

Frequent/Daily release with O+12 for PINK – DH releases at least once a day (DAILY) for 7-10 days, with one attempt 12 hours after ovulation or 48 hours after first pos OPK for an easier method of timing an O+12. Again, O+12 is my absolute least fave sway tactic of them all.

Frequent/Daily BD (baby dancing, unprotected sex) with a cutoff OR through O for PINK – Another strategy some people have used as part of a pink sway, is a variation of frequent/daily release. You actually BD every day at least once, from AF-O (and you can’t fudge it on this, you have to start at the end of your period at the latest, in order to allow 7-10 days of BD prior to the earliest point you might be fertile) either leading up to a cutoff, or straight through O. Now, I know this is a popular method on other sites but I despise it, can’t really ever recommend it for anyone, as it may sway blue due to being more than one attempt in the fertile window, and it cuts odds of conception considerably as well. DON’T DO THIS METHOD!!!!!

If you do decide to BD through O, you will probably want to use some additional sway techniques like antihistamines, spermicides, and/or jellies to counteract the additional EWCM that many women get around ovulation. Also, frequent intercourse may raise pH so if low pH is very important to you, you’ll want to monitor the situation and adjust your pH using one of the jellies. NOT RECOMMENDED BY ATOMIC!

Mixing cutoff and O+12 for PINK – This is slightly more complicated but may increase your chances of a BFP. First, abstain from AF-a cutoff attempt 2-3 days before O. Then, have your husband release 2 times a day (without exception! Once a day is not enough!) and then try for a second attempt at O+12. If you decide to go this route, it’s better NOT to DTD for release if you can possibly avoid it, because it may raise your pH and it also may kill off some sperm that are waiting in the cervical crypts. Release via masturbation only. Reminder – one attempt has gotten by far best results for pink. Really can’t recommend this but some do want to use it.

The Valley of Frequent Release for PINK:

Also known as – Compressed Frequent Release or CFR.

If your husband really CAN’T do either abstinence or frequent release (and some guys just can’t manage it, or have work obligations that makes it impossible) then a potential compromise is to have him release as much as possible for a day or two (even up to 3x a day for 2 days in a row, or 2x a day for 3 days in a row), using only the last batch for insemination. You could also combine this strategy with an O+12 or a cutoff, or a BD through O – if you wanted to have more than one attempt, you could have DH release 3x one day before ovulation, using the last batch for insemination, and then again 3x on O day, using only the last batch for insemination.

Not only does this method cut odds of conception considerably, it has caused tons of trouble because by the time the fertile window is open, many men simply can’t “complete the transaction” any more. If hubby can’t perform, you miss the month, and all for something that probably doesn’t even sway anyway. Not recommended.

BEYOND the Valley of Frequent Release for PINK:

For men who already do frequent release (some guys have the habit of cleaning the pipes pretty much on a daily basis and are still fathering boys), it is possible to have him increase the frequency to 2x a day, and/or release up to 3 times on the day of the attempt, using only the last ejaculation for insemination. This may reduce odds of pregnancy considerably and so a compromise is to have only one attempt the day of attempt (the attempt itself)

Not only does this cut odds of conception, it has caused tons of trouble because often by the time the fertile window is open, many men can’t complete the transaction. If hubby can’t perform, you miss the month, and all for something that probably doesn’t even sway anyway.

Regular release with one attempt for PINK:

This is basically dropping the idea of frequency all together while keeping one attempt. Have hubby release on his own or with you, with a condom, every 2-4 days for as far in advance of sway as is feasible, and then stick with one attempt. This frequency pattern is technically blue friendly, but because one attempt has gotten vastly superior results to all frequency patterns, it ups odds of conception while still sticking with the one attempt. It’s gotten very nice results for us and I strongly encourage people to use this approach rather than keeping timing and frequency while adding attempts to boost chances of conception.

Over the past several years, we have been using this more and more and I’m a big believer in it now. I really think it’s leading to much quicker times to conception, keeping husbands happier and all while allowing more people to get pregnant with one attempt. Since most do add attempts after a few BFN it makes a lot of sense to simply try to get pregnant quickly by dropping the things that don’t work, and keeping the things that do!

Every 4 day method for PINK:

Have unprotected sex every 4 days. Start this after your period ends and continue on till you are certain you’ve ovulated, even if it means going all the way through to your next period starting! Do NOT stop e4d even if you kinda sorta think you Oed, or once you hit CD 14 (or any other day you normally ovulate) because ovulation may be delayed while swaying, even if you don’t realize it has been. Continuing intercourse protects you against delayed ovulation. E4D ends up being one attempt in the fertile window for most people and is much easier and lower stress than tracking ovulation and trying to time attempts.

There is a lot of confusion about what e4d means. It means EITHER every 72 hours or every 96 hours – and not to these specific hours! This is simply how you count the DAYS. Any time that day is fine. So, Mon/Thurs or Mon/Fri (it doesn’t need to be these days, of course, just for illustration purposes.) There is no magic to e4d, it’s just an easy way of being in with one attempt in the fertile window regardless of when you ovulate. You’re always having an attempt just far enough apart to count as one attempt, while close enough to ensure a reasonable chance of conception. If you want a better chance of pink, lower odds of conception, BD Mon/Fri (or O-4 and O Day) in the 96 hour pattern. If you want a possibly lower chance of pink, better chance of conception, BD Mon/Thurs or O-3 and O Day in the 72 hour pattern. Whichever you prefer. Some people will skip over one attempt entirely and start off with e4d in the 96 hour pattern, then after a few months go to the 72 hour pattern.

This method has been pretty darn effective and much less stressful!!

Every 4 days plus one more at positive OPK for PINK:

If you have been TTC a long time, or you are in a hurry to get pregnant, this is a compromise between boosting odds of conception while still swaying pink. BD every 4 days (as described above) but simultaneously do OPK tests and have one more attempt at positive OPK. Keep going with the e4d pattern before and after. If you find your e4d attempt falls on the day of pos OPK, you can decide to have another attempt (that day or the next day) for better odds of conception, or sticking with the attempt you are due to have for possibly better odds of pink.

DO NOT BD Every other day (EOD) or “e3d” (attempts 48 hours apart). I do not recommend anyone do this for pink. We played around with it and I perceived it was making more opposites than e4d plus one. Plus, it’s not even that great at boosting odds of conception, because it often still ends up only being one attempt in the fertile window. E4D plus One is MUCH better at both swaying pink and upping your chances of conceiving.

A note about using “Deanna’s Plan” (SMEP) for PINK –

Deanna’s Plan (or SMEP, Sperm Meets Egg Plan) is a pattern of intercourse that is designed to maximize your odds of pregnancy. Some people say Deanna’s SMEP Plan sways pink, but if it appears to be true, this is very likely because the people who follow Deanna’s SMEP Plan are struggling with fertility (particularly low sperm count) to begin with – and lower fertility sways pink.

If you are in a big hurry to get pregnant, Deanna’s SMEP Plan will definitely increase your odds. However, if you are a fully fertile couple, it’s not going to sway pink for you and may very likely sway blue, because it can end up as a lot of attempts in the fertile window! If you’re using SMEP right from the start for your pink sway, you may want to consider using other sway techniques, such as antihistamine, douches, jellies, spermicide, to counteract the higher number of sperm that your husband will both produce AND that will be deposited in your reproductive tract. (UNLESS you have been trying a while, or are 40+, or are on fertility medication, and need to boost odds of conception, in that case skip those things or drop them if you were using them.)

Better yet, BEFORE using SMEP, drop antihistamine, douche, jelly, spermicide, frequency, and timing, and stick with one attempt in the fertile window a little longer, because it has gotten the best results by far of any of those things. Then go to e4d. Then e4d plus one more attempt at positive OPK. Then and only then, after you have exhausted every other option to boost chances of conception, should you go to SMEP. SMEP should be a last resort, not a first line option.

VERY IMPORTANT ADDENDUM!!!

PLEASE DO NOT DO ABSTAIN IF YOUR HUSBAND IS OVER 35.

Edited and updated 10-8-22

What? Why? Why does atomic sagebrush recommend skipping abstain for men over 35 when Madame Hoosegow’s Fabulous Swayporium Website says it’s totes ma gotes ok to do?

There are really three separate variables in the equation – abstinence makes worse sperm (fact), older men’s sperm is worse to begin with (fact), and older men father more children with birth defects and serious disorders like autism and schizophrenia to begin with (fact).

Net result : abstain + older dads = too risky for my liking. The older he is, the riskier it gets. While it’s never a super huge risk, I simply do not see the point of incurring even a small risk for something like abstain which does not help sway pink anyway. It just doesn’t work, why take the chance when there are other, better, safer ways to sway?

Regardless of what other swaying sites may claim, there are numerous studies showing the offspring of older dads have more birth defects and other disorders including autism, bipolar, Down Syndrome, schizophrenia, cleft palate, dwarfism, Turner Syndrome, and Kleinfelter Syndrome. This is not a HUGE number, but it’s certainly statistically significant. Abstain has not been getting stellar results for us anyway (worse than the overall stats of the site) and thus it is not worth any level of risk. Don’t take chances, even small chances for something that doesn’t even help your sway!

atomic’s editorial note – the sample size in some of these studies are HUGE, tens and even hundreds of thousands of subjects over many years and from many different countries – these risks are real and everyone should take them very seriously. It makes me not know whether to laugh or cry that some sway sites tell everyone to do O+12 based on a sample size of 33 (only 2 of whom DTD on O+12) and then belittle the risks of abstaining for older men which has 10,000 times more information supporting it. Several sway sites are even giving out misinformation about this issue, making claims that it is possible to “see” that men’s sperm is not damaged from abstain in a microscope. You cannot see DNA damage through even the best microscope, period, end of story. This is why they do PGD on embryos, because DNA damage is impossible to see. You certainly cannot tell if a sperm’s DNA is damaged by looking for “black sperm” on a toy microscope from Amazon.com. And if I sound ticked off about this, I am, because these sites still making these claims 15 years after they have been debunked, possibly setting people up for having children with lifelong health issues, is INEXCUSABLE.

There are, of course, other things that can damage sperm and sperm DNA besides age, so if your husband has been diagnosed with poor sperm quality to begin with, drinks alcohol/smokes either regular or “special” cigarettes, is obese, works around industrial chemicals/electromagnetic fields/nuclear energy, jogs a lot or bikes a lot, is a deep sea diver/anesthetist/radiologist/fighter pilot, takes drugs either recreationally or for medical purposes, or has anything else going on that has you concerned about his sperm quality, you may want to consider choosing either daily or regular release instead of abstain even if he is less than 35.

The opposite, however, is not true. Many people have assumed that if their husband doesn’t do anything that harms sperm health and he’s in good overall condition, that it is therefore ok for him to do abstain even if he is over 35. This is not the case. The issue with age and sperm health is not a man’s overall health, it is the number of times his DNA has divided over the course of his life. Tiny errors in DNA replication sneak in over the course of time. The older a man gets, the more opportunities for DNA errors have had to accumulate. No matter how healthy a husband over 35 is, abstain is not a good idea, and the further beyond 35 he is, the more important it is that he avoid this tactic like the plague.

NO ABSTAIN FOR MEN OVER 35. It just isn’t worth it. Why would you incur any level of risk for a sway tactic that got substantially LOWER than our overall success rates of our results for 12 years on Gender Dreaming, where I helped tens of thousands of people with their sways!!! It just isn’t worth any risk for something that doesn’t even help one bit. And given that older men may have higher odds of conceiving a girl ANYWAY why would you up your already higher risks doing abstain?? It just doesn’t make sense to do this.

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