Updated 2/9/25
While much of this subject matter is kinda “old wives’ tale-y”, since I do get a lot of questions on this topic, I decided to make a dedicated FAQ for them.
The general principle for Natural Gender Selection is that anything that lowers sperm count and quality sways pink, and anything that improves sperm count and quality sways blue. But please be aware that no matter how many sperm they have or how healthy they are, men always make 50-50 X and Y sperm and that what kills Y sperm, kills X sperm – the idea that X are strong and hearty and Y are weak and easily killed has been completely debunked.
None of the following tactics have ever been proved to do anything at all whatsoever to sway. I don’t feel confident in any of them (other than jogging and biking for pink swayers’ hubbies, that is – because those have been shown in studies to alter the gender ratio towards more girls conceived) and inclusion of any tactic in this FAQ is not in any way an endorsement.
The heat is on!
For pink, heating up hubby’s jewels may help a pink sway. Hot baths, hot showers, saunas, and Jacuzzis, tighty whiteys (those tight fitting brief underwear), even putting a heating pad on his balls have all been used for swaying. Be warned that these things have never been proven to definitively sway and have really cut odds of conception for some couples.
When using hot baths, saunas, Jacuzzis, or heating pads for swaying pink, don’t overdo it. 5-10 minutes is more than enough. Hot showers are more forgiving, but if he’s using a showerhead to soak the area be sensible – five minutes is plenty. If your husband has any male factor fertility issues going on – poor sperm count/health/motility, if he is already doing lots of other, more effective things (such as jogging and biking, which unlike heat have been shown to sway in scientific studies), if he’s much over 40 and/or you are in your late 30’s to 40’s and are in a rush to get pregnant…then by all means, let this stuff go!
Though heat is proven to lower sperm count and quality, heat alone has never been scientifically shown to alter the gender ratio. While we do have numerous anecdotes of male ballet dancers, professional BMX bike riders, and jock-wearing pro-athletes, all of whom had lots of daughters, anecdotes are not proof. Excessive heat has been shown to diminish male fertility, so I’d drop this stuff sooner rather than later, or maybe never even try it if you’re having trouble conceiving. Sperm does take 72 days or so to form so too much heat in March may still be having an effect in April and May!
Blue swayers, heat kills sperm but this DOES NOT MEAN that icing a man’s balls is in any way necessary for blue. Seriously ladies, do not torment your poor longsuffering hubbies with bags of frozen peas. Heat kills sperm, yes, but cold does not magically resurrect them. Dead is dead.
The idea of icing balls in the way it’s usually recommended by swaying and fertility sites – ice on the balls for 15-30 minutes a day, or even just 15 minutes prior to attempt – is idiotic. It was cooked up by someone who was trying to placate people into thinking they were doing something constructive to help with male factor infertility. Sometimes medical professionals will essentially make things like this up to give people who really just need to have patience and keep trying to conceive, something to do that feels constructive. And then these well-intentioned but pointless exercises in futility stick around and continue causing trouble forever and ever after even though they have no hard data backing them up.
Yes, there are supposedly studies, but I’ve read the studies and they don’t say what people say they do. We are talking minute sample sizes (4 people? really?), having people do 17 other things to boost sperm count at the same time but then writing the conclusion to the paper as if it was only done in icing balls, NOT icing balls at all but using cool underwear or some other device all day or all night long (more about this below), and perhaps most damning, using only data that sperm is harmed by heat to “prove” that icing will therefore help – again, just because heat kills sperm, does not mean that ice resurrects them from the dead.
The same goes for cold showers; no they do NOT raise testosterone. Exposure to too much cold actually probably lowers testosterone. Here’s a thorough article from someone who read the same studies that I did (sorry it has a lot of cursing in it): BS About Cold Showers
You are basically torturing your husband for something that probably doesn’t do anything anyway. Think about it – even if heat is the issue, it doesn’t make any sense at all that ice on the balls for 15-30 minutes a day would make up for the 23 ¾- 23 ½ other hours out of the day that he is NOT icing his balls. Some of the studies claimed you had to ice the balls for 2-3 hours a DAY for 3-6 months to see any improvement!! Who has that kind of time – let alone the potential damage to skin that could be caused by overzealous icing for that long!
Now, they do sell some fancy schmancy “cooling underwear” which are safe to be worn for several hours during the day or at night while sleeping and if you want to try those, hey, whatever floats your boat – especially if your hubby has a varicocele (varicose vein in the testicles) or has to work in extreme heat or is a professional athlete and has to wear a jock or cup, or is an avid jogger or bicyclist. For the average person I don’t think they’re necessary.
Blue swayers, skip icing and have your husband eliminate tight underpants/jocks/athletic cups, avoid or reduce the amount of biking and jogging he does, avoid hot baths, saunas, Jacuzzis, and go easy on hot showers. If he can sleep in the nude (at least the bottom half) that may help. Those things actually work. If he has a varicocele or serious male factor infertility you may want to give the cooling underwear a try – just have him wear them during the night.
But NO ONE needs to have their husband put frozen peas or bags of ice on his nuts for 15 minutes a day. You certainly don’t need to have him ice his balls for 15 minutes right before your attempt. Sperm take 72 days to form and you aren’t doing anything for the swimmers about to be released. Icing balls accomplishes nothing. This type of last minute and/or short term ball icing is just another thing to get on our husband’s nerves with. Please, please ladies, save your requests for the things that are actually going to help your sway!
The Pressure Cooker
Another thing that is proven harmful for the manly bits is pressure. Pressure typically goes along with heat and it’s not really known about which is actually reducing sperm health – is it heat or is it pressure or is it both? We aren’t sure.
Two things that have been entirely proven to my satisfaction to sway pink is jogging and biking. These have been demonstrated in studies to alter the gender ratio towards more daughters conceived. Reminder: NONE of the other things in this essay have been proven to sway at all. ONLY jogging and biking have been demonstrated scientifically to sway pink.
Some other things that seem to make pressure or a lack of oxygen that may affect blood flow to the testicles similarly to pressure, includes deep sea diving and being a jet fighter pilot. These are obviously not things that most guys are going to be able to utilize for a sway! But luckily for blue swayers, not many guys fall into this category. I have seen more professional BMX bikers (2) swaying blue than deep sea divers and jet fighter pilots combined. (0)
Pink swayers, if your husband is willing and able to jog or bike for a sway, it’s a great addition. However, if you do choose to use these tactics, be aware they may really cut odds of conception. And wearing tight fitting underwear ~may~ be an approximation of the pressure and heat involved in sitting on a bike seat – but it hasn’t been proven.
Blue swayers, if your husband is a jogger or biker or diver or pilot, don’t panic. You’re no worse off knowing this information than you were not knowing it. You can still have a successful blue sway if your husband partakes in any of these activities. In fact the only fighter pilot I’ve ever encountered in 15 years of hanging out on sway sites was the father of 3 boys! Remember, nothing is 100%, so just sway using other techniques. Focus on what you CAN change rather than what you can’t and you absolutely can still have a successful sway!
That having been said, blue swayers, I would absolutely have him change things up if his day involves not only jogging or biking, but ANY sitting for long periods. If he’s in the car a lot or drives a truck, have him stop every hour to stretch his legs. If he sits at a desk all day, have him get up every hour, even if it’s just a moment. And don’t let him sit with a laptop or game controller in his lap for hours at a time – dude, get up and move around now and then!
WAIT! Are there ways to get these same effects only without actually doing these things? Without all the embarrassing messing around with DH’s jewels?
Yes!
For blue swayers, it’s very easy (but be sure to read the pink section to know what NOT to do!)
Just have your husband release on his own or with you, with a nonspermicide condom (or even unprotected if you aren’t worried about timing), every 2-4 days starting as far in advance of your planned sway as is feasible. Sperm take 72 days to form and doing regular release during this time period is a really good way to ensure that he makes a nice amount of healthy sperm. Don’t panic if this goes a little longer or a little shorter occasionally (more like 5 days apart, or two in a row), you’re just aiming at the overall pattern. Regular release, not too far or too close together, is best for sperm count and quality. Releasing through intercourse yields the highest sperm numbers over time.
You may want to have intercourse doggy style or deep missionary with your legs over his shoulders for maximum depth. Deep release is great. Check out my Substack for an in-depth article about sex positions for Natural Gender Selection. If you can work in a female orgasm, that may really help too; some evidence indicates female O can help move more sperm from the cervical crypts up into the tubes.
Then, after intercourse, stay laying flat for at least 30 minutes or even more. Spend part of this time on your belly as we have seen better odds of conception for women with tilted uteruses this way. 50% of us have a tilted uterus, and while in most cases they do not prevent conception in any way, some people have seemed to have better luck spending some time laying on their belly after intercourse.
Do NOT use Instead, Diva, or Moon cups to try and “hold sperm in.” You lose more semen and sperm trying to insert the darn things after sex, than you do just laying flat. Plus, the cups can act as a barrier that keep sperm from reaching your cervix. If we needed a rubbery plastic cup to conceive a baby boy the entire human race would have died out a long time ago! Just stay laying down for 30 minutes or more and you’ll get the exact same results – if not better!
For pink, to control sperm numbers without resorting to invasive, husband-annoying methods, you may want to use a frequency pattern as spelled out here: https://atomicsagebrush.com/2019/08/15/abstain-daily-release-and-timing-methods-for-pink/ But none of the frequency patterns have been terribly effective and they all cut odds of conception. Sticking with just one attempt in the fertile window has been the best method of cutting sperm numbers while still yielding good rates of conception, and has gotten good rates of girls conceived too.
Best positions for pink are women on top, shallow missionary (without the legs over shoulders) or standing. Check out my Substack for an in-depth article about sex positions for Natural Gender Selection. Some people will recommend shallow release for TTC a girl. I do not recommend doing shallow – except for maybe the first month or two if you feel that you must – because it has cut odds of conception for people tremendously. I have had dozens of clients who came to me with help conceiving while swaying, who didn’t get pregnant even as I tried all my various tricks to boost chances of conception. Once I found out that they were still doing shallow release, I had them drop it, and they got pregnant immediately.
You can also try adding in Jump and Dump for pink. Unlike many sway tactics like pH, timing, and frequency, J and D has actually seemed to add a little something in our statistics. Over time you will want to gradually want to extend the amount of time you stay laying down – 5 minutes, 10, 15…and spend part of that time on your belly to improve odds of conception if you have a tilted uterus (or even if you don’t!)
I hope this helps answer some of your questions about “The Family Jewels!”
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